I feel credible enough to write this post because I’m pushing 30 very soon! No, I haven’t figured out what lies after this but ’20s is done & dusted & I’ve survived. I feel compelled to share this post (to the younger kids, oh my, I sound ancient!) because I know there are people like me who read other people’s stories & try as much to apply it in their lives. Yes, I have avoided shitty situations because I read a lot & I’ve been in shitty situations for the same reason, that I read a lot.
Here are the 5 life lessons I learned in my 20s
1. Schools aren’t all hard Math, it’s a training ground to become an adult
I liked school because I excel in it even with less effort& when I didn’t excel, I still liked school because I had allowance money. (LOL) When I finished school & started working I realized that school didn’t only teach us the obvious Maths & Physics but it prepared us for adulthood. I believe that if we’ve been really attentive, we wouldn’t have struggled this much as adults. Remember those times our teacher tells us to follow simple rules, not be late for class, do homework, be presentable, etc— if we learned this discipline by heart we would have been functional adults. We wouldn’t have received a termination notice for always coming to work late; we wouldn’t have been labeled ‘difficult’ if we contribute in team projects; we wouldn’t have to suffer severe traffic if we follow simple rules etc. Sadly, I guess most of us missed this important learning in school.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
In this year & age of Instagram where people posts their finest & their most fabulous life, you cant help but compare your life to others. But again, we need to remember people post only a picture that would guarantee 100 likes— no, not them on their just-woken-up hair, not them struggling with their finances, not them with their unruly, bratty children, not them ugly- crying because of a heartbreak. I’m not saying posting your best photo is bad, its just that comparing your worst to someone’s best is calling for emotional suicide.
3. Give Fewer F*cks
I’d say I have transformed a lot from the girl who continuously worries about what the neighbors will think to a girl (who still worries a lot) but would NEVER care about what others will think. It wasn’t an overnight thing, maybe I was just so fed up of not doing the things I like because people will always have something (bad) to say. My mantra for years now is: “You don’t matter enough to upset me”, and it saved me a lot of energy. Expectedly, I’ll give fewer f*cks in the coming years. It doesn’t mean growing indifferent but it’s wise to choose your battles because really, you don’t need to have a say in every f*cking discussion. Ever wonder how internet trolls& haters came to be?
4. You don’t need to have MANY friends
The top culprit: you outgrow each other. That’s probably the saddest truth in one’s life but that happens. I’ve met great personalities before who I’ve been friends for a time but who are not in my life now. Some friendships I fought hard to work out but failed. And that’s okay. Because friendships aren’t supposed to be forced & with all the drama happening in your life, your friends shouldn’t be your top 1 source of stress. I keep a small circle of friends now, some I don’t talk to always (because timezone difference lol) but it’s mutually understood we will have each other’s back no matter what.
5. Boys , Men, XYs
Ahhh boys & dating is still a topic I don’t feel confident enough to discuss. Lol. And maybe it’s not always a factor of age because sometimes even if you’ve rewatched “He’s Just Not That Into You” for the nth time & you know how it ends sometimes you hope for a twist of plot that maybe this is your chance. But if there’s one thing I know now after dating few shitty almost exes is I won’t settle for anything less just because I feel lonely. Being single for so long makes you prioritize self-love— I know, I might end up marrying myself (if that’s possible! lol) but that’s not totally sad at all.
What valuable life lessons have you learned in your 20s?
& which life hack do you relate the most?